Double Trouble

The stadium lights lit up the sky and confetti was floating throughout the air. The whole stadium was celebrating the win of the Benton High School Lady Panthers soccer team. The families of the girls, and their fans, were snapping pictures of my team and myself. The flashes were blinding and no one knew which camera to look at. My team, consisting of fifteen teenage girls, was huddled around me, their captain. The whole team was jumping up and down, screaming. I hushed the team and their fans. “Alright ladies. As your captain I demand you all to join me at Chili's for a post-game celebration!” I shouted. We all pranced out of the stadium and into the parking lot, where we momentarily parted ways. My identical twin sister, Paislee, got into my car. “You played a great game!” I said. “You absolutely killed it like always. I hope dad captured the whole game on film,” Paislee said. “I have enough video footage. You need more. I'm hoping that we can get a lot of money from colleges. It would be awesome to sign with a college and not have to pay a dime.” “What if...never mind.” “Don't worry. Coaches are going to love you. You don't have to worry about getting cut or them not taking you. If they take me they'll take you. Soccer runs in your blood.” “I guess you're right. Even though this is something I may not do for the rest of my life.” I took a minute to formulate a response to what Paislee had just said “What are you talking about? Of course you are! Did you forget that we're going to the pro's? Tonight, I heard Jonesboro's coach talking to their assistant coach. He called us ‘double trouble’. We're definitely a kickass duo,” I said. Paislee didn’t respond. She gave me a deep sigh and turned to look out the passenger window. I pulled into the Chili’s parking lot and found a spot close to the front. We waited on the rest of the team outside of the building before marching inside. When we were inside of the modern restaurant we had to wait about fifteen minutes for the staff to put us a table together. While we were waiting, I continued the somewhat heated discussion with my sister. “Paislee, you killed it tonight, but you weren't the best that you've been earlier in the season. I can't even count how many times I had to save you,” I said. “Double standards much? Did you not just give me a pep talk? I thought you said I had nothing to worry about,” Paislee said. “You made collegiate plays, but you also made some freshman mistakes that you know better than to do. If we're going to be a dynamic duo team in college then you have to want it just as much as I do. If not, then no college would want you.” “You know, it's not all about you. You always bring me down. I'm sorry that I'm not good enough for you. You definitely don't have the authority to make me feel like crap,” Paislee said as she lowered her tone. “I know what's best for you. I'm your older sister. I'm supposed to look out for you and guide you. I'm supposed to be the boss,” I said. “No, you don't know what's best for me and no you're not older than me. Sixty seconds isn’t considered older. We're twins. We're a team. We're supposed to look out for each other. Why don't you worry about yourself and I'll worry about me.” Our teammates chatter died down as they heard us bickering. The hostess approached me to let me know that our table was ready. I signaled for the team to follow and we formed a single-file line. When we arrived at the table, I sat at one end and Paislee sat at the other. Our teammates filled in the chairs around us. Our waiter instantly showed up to get our drink order. The other girls on my team whispered about how cute they thought he was. The brown hair, blue-eyed, athletic waiter appeared with our drinks on three different serving trays. After distributing our drinks, he went around the table and took our order. After he took my order, he winked at me and walked away. That definitely raised some eyebrows at our table. “Kaylee, when are you and Paislee going to decide on a college and sign with them? It's getting late in the season and pre-season for colleges will start next month. Everyone thought you guys would have already signed,” Rebecca asked me. Everyone turned to look at me, anticipating my response. “We are still trying to decide which college will help us get to the pro's. We're leaning more towards the University of Arkansas though or the University of Central Arkansas. We got in to both, of course, and now we are just waiting to hear from the coaches to see how much money we can get. After we get our bids, then we will completely decide. We're now going to refer to ourselves as ‘double trouble’ instead of ‘dynamic duo’ because that's what Jonesboro's coach called us,” I said. The team turned to look at Paislee. She didn’t say anything, but merely pushed her chair back and removed herself from the table. The team watched her walk in to the bathroom. They thought nothing of it and continued to converse amongst themselves. Five minutes passed by and Paislee finally came back to the table. My team was not fazed by her arrival and continued to chatter amongst themselves as we waited on our food to arrive. Paislee didn’t interact with the other girls. She just played on her phone. I got my phone out and sent her a text. “Really? Can you not put it up and enjoy the company of your teammates?” read my text. Paislee didn’t reply to my text, however, she slid her phone down into her purse and slouched in her chair. She folded her arms across her chest, wrinkling her grass stained jersey, and continued to be quiet. After another ten minutes, our waiter finally showed up with our food. Once the plates were distributed, our glasses were refilled. The handsome waiter excused himself after making sure we had everything that we needed. Small conversations continued as we munched on our food. When the majority of the team was done eating, our hunky waiter brought us our checks. “Call me ;) 501-852-7569,” was written on my bill. I smiled and gave him my card. We continued to sit there even after we had paid, reminiscing on the season. I finally got up from the table, which initiated a chain reaction. The team always did everything I did, except for Paislee. She just continued to sit there. I began to lead my team away from the table. When I was about to round the corner, I looked back. Paislee had just gotten up from the table. Her long brown hair was falling out of her pony tail that had been sitting at the top of her head. Paislee’s makeup had sweat streaks throughout it, and her eyeliner was smudged under her eyes. She was a mirror image of what I looked like right then. I rounded the corner and walked outside to be with the rest of my team. We gave out our hugs and goodbye’s, except for Paislee. She ignored everyone and just got in my red 2016 Mustang. I joined her as soon as I was done appreciating my team. Our car ride was so quiet and the radio hadn’t even been turned on. Paislee just looked out her window as I drove. I finally broke the silence. “I don't know why you get so defensive. I'm just doing what's best for us. You think that I don't know what you want, but I do. Like you said, we're a team. Teams play together. Wherever I go, you go. Don't forget that. You wouldn't know what to do without me. Everywhere you go you would just feel so lost,” I said. Paislee didn’t acknowledge me. Instead, she just rolled her window down. “Paislee. Talk to me. I'm trying to have an adult conversation with you,” I said with agony in my voice. Paislee still didn’t respond to me. She just grabbed her headphones out of her purse and turned her music on, a typical action that we would do when we wanted to be left alone I pulled up to our house and put my car in park. Paislee got out first. I followed her to the trunk of my car to gather our bags. We walked up our sidewalk to our mahogany oak front door. I turned my key in the lock and Paislee pushed open the door, barging in front of me. I walked in and slammed the door behind me. Paislee continued to walk up the stairs, ignoring my anger-filled slam. “What is your deal? Can you get your head out of your ass for one minute and realize that it isn't all about you?” I asked as I threw my soccer bag onto the floor. Paislee stopped on the second step and also threw her soccer bag onto the floor. She turned around and glared at me. “Me? It isn't all about me? You're one to talk,” she said. “Don't be ridiculous. You're acting like such a child right now,” I said ” Have you ever asked me if I wanted to play soccer in college? Have you ever asked me where I wanted to go to college? Have you ever asked me if I even like soccer? No. No. And no.” “What do you mean ‘no’? You love soccer. You love playing with me. You want to go pro just as much as I do.” “It's always been what you wanted to do. I never got a say in anything. I'm so done with you deciding what I'm going to do with my life,” Paislee said. “What is it you want then? If you don't want to play soccer than what on earth do you want to do?” I asked. “I want to be a lawyer. You don't know this, but I applied to Harvard. I don't care about soccer. I don't even like playing it. I only did it because you wanted me to. I'm not going to follow your demands anymore. I am my own person and I don't take orders from you.” “Like I said, you wouldn't know what to do without me. You're going to be on a super big campus all alone with no friends and no one to have your back,” I said. “That's where you're wrong. I can't wait to get away from you. I want to experience life the way I want to experience it. You're not always going to be right across the hall from me and I sure as hell don't need you hovering and trying to be a mother figure,” Paislee said. I just stared at her for a moment. “I make friends just fine. I won't be alone. Quit trying to control me,” Paislee whispered as her voice cracked. Paislee turned to walk up the stairs. I rushed up to her and grabbed her arm, pulling her around to face me. Paislee yanked her arm out of my hand. “Don't you dare touch me right now,” Paislee said. “You need me more than I need you. Don't you realize this? I am your closest friend, your only friend. You will have no one. When did you even apply to Harvard? Why didn't you tell me beforehand so I could stop you? Why are you doing this to us? We're supposed to be a dynamic duo, a team, double trouble, inseparable...” I said as my voice faded away. “Why didn't I tell you so that you could stop me? You answered your own question. I didn't tell you because I knew you would stop me. You don't get to decide my future. I decide my future.” “What even makes you think you can get in to a prestigious school like Harvard?” I asked harshly. Paislee opened her purse and pulled out an envelope. Out of the envelope, she pulled out a folded up letter. “What makes me think I could get in? This acceptance letter shows that I could get in. Yeah, Kay, I got in. I thought you would be happy for me because I finally found something that I can't wait to do with my life. I really can't believe you're making this all about you. For future reference, I don't need you. Right now, I can't even claim you as my sister,” Paislee shouted. She turned and walked the rest of the way up the stairs. Paislee turned down the hall towards her bedroom, slamming her door shut. I sat down at the bottom of the stairs and brought my knees to my chest. I hugged my knees for the next hour and just reflected on our argument. The next morning we drove separately to school, which we never did. We had always done everything together. I didn’t see Paislee the whole day. She made it clear that she was avoiding me. I walked out onto the soccer field, after a long day of school, to find out that Paislee wasn’t even at practice. The team, minus Paislee, had already paired up to work on our warmup touches. “Hey, Kaylee. Why isn't Paislee here? She was at school today. Did she get sick at the end of the day?” Rebecca asked me as we partnered up. “She quit, I guess. We had a huge fight last night. She told me that she didn't even like soccer and that she wanted to be a lawyer. Can you believe it? She even got into Harvard,” I said. “Wow! Harvard? She must have had a killer GPA. That's a super tough college to get in to. I'm happy for her.” “But she's such a great defense player. How can she not like it? It would be a waste of talent. She is literally the best defense player I have ever laid my eyes on.” “Sometimes talent doesn't dictate what you want to do. She could be great at one thing but want to do something else. It's called being human,” Rebecca said. “I can't believe she is giving up our dream so that she can wear an uptight suit and sit in a courtroom all day.” Rebecca stopped and stared at me, putting her hands on her hips. “Is making the pro's her dream or yours? It's obvious she wants to be a lawyer. Why don't you support your sister? Let her be her own person. She can have a mind and opinion of her own. Don't be such a control freak. She can have her own life too,” Rebecca said sternly. “Hey. Why don't you stay out of it. It's none of your business.” “You just made it my business when you started bitching about your sister. Don't tell people about your problems if you aren't ready to hear the ugly truth,” Rebecca said as she kicked me the ball. Rebecca jogged over to another group that was doing their warmup touches, leaving me to juggle by myself. I concentrated on the ball bouncing off of my knee, into the air, and back to my knee. After a while I lined the girls up. “Ladies, line up. Let's get ready to run some drills. We have a big game ahead of us. State tournament won't win itself. Tomorrow we load those buses and we won't look back.” After an intense practice, I went home. When I walked in, Paislee was sitting at the dining room table with her algebra book open and her calculator out. She was punching numbers into her calculator with one hand and tapping her pencil on her book with her other hand. I walked into the dining room, my cleats clanking on our gunstock colored hard wood floors. I stood there quietly. Paislee did not acknowledge my presence until I finally broke her concentration. “Hey, P. Can we talk?” I asked. “I'm a little busy at the moment. I'm trying to prepare for my college algebra final. If I don't pass then I won't get the college credit hours for the class,” she said without looking up from her book. “It's kind of really important.” Paislee dropped her pencil in annoyance and turned to face me. “Look, I'm sorry if I've been too pushy. The truth is, I need you way more than you need me,” I said. Paislee didn’t say anything. She just continued to gaze up at me with her big brown eyes. “I was scared that I was going to lose my best friend. I should have considered you in all of the decisions that I made,” I added. “You're right there. You never once considered my opinion, let alone asked for it,” Paislee said. “I had no right to dictate what you wanted to do with your life. I never even considered the fact that my dream may not be the same as your dream. I thought that, since we are twins, we have to have the same dreams and be the same people. In all reality, we have to be our own person. I am so sorry.” “Well, I'm glad that you have finally accepted my career choice. I'll come to your games and cheer for you. You're going to go far with soccer. For the past eighteen years I have been living in your shadow. It's time for me to step forward and be my own person. It's time for me to be ‘Paislee’ and not ‘Kaylee's twin.’” “I said some really awful things to you that I didn't mean. Nothing I ever say will be able to take it back. I am so sorry. I will understand if you can't forgive me,” I said. “You're my sister. We're going to have our fair share of fights. You just have to remember that we are family and we have the exact same DNA, however, we have completely different personalities.” “You're completely right. I should have let you have a say in everything. I feel really bad.” “It is okay for us to have completely different choices in college and in careers. It means we aren't the exact same like people think we are. I am my own person and so are you.” I nodded in agreement. “I do have a question though. Will you please play in the state tournament? We can't do this without you. Whether you like it or not, you're a kickass soccer player. It's okay if you don't want to though,” I said. “I guess I could play in the tournament. I've come this far. It would be silly to quit now. Plus, I would really hate to let the team down.” I ran over, sat in Paislee’s lap, and squeezed her into a tight hug. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!! I wouldn't want to finish my last high school season with anyone other than my best friend, my sister,” I said excitingly. I got up and danced. When I was done celebrating, I left the room with a skip in my step. Paislee chuckled as I made a fool out of myself. _____________________________________________________________ The crowd was going wild with excitement. It was the last minute of the second half of the "Final" game of state tournament. Both teams were tied with each having four points. The ball reached Paislee's feet. She looked up to find me. The rest was muscle memory. Her eyes landed on me and we made eye contact. Paislee kicked the ball so hard that it left the ground and went ten feet into the air and thirty yards down the field. It landed right in the path that I was running. I gained control and flew past the four defenders of the other team. The keeper came out of the goal to try and take the ball away from me. I faked around the keeper and took my shot. The ball soared into the goal making a "swoosh" sound against the net. The crowd was on their feet, jumping up and down, and screaming with excitement. The buzzer sounded, signaling the end of the game. The crowd went ballistic. My team collaborated into a group hug in the middle of the field. We jumped up and down and screamed. Then, we ran over to the sideline and dumped the remaining Gatorade onto our coach. We then ran to the stands to take in our praise. Families and fans were running onto the field to congratulate my team. The referee walked over to me and handed me the state championship trophy. I turned to Paislee with the biggest smile on my face. “See, P.? We couldn't have done it without you,” I shouted over the crowd. I took my left hand off of the trophy and handed it to Paislee. Together, we held the trophy while dozens of people snapped our picture, leaving us blinded by the flashes of the cameras.