Guardian Angel

Now that the cat is out of the bag, I can finally tell you all how I've been the past couple of months! People keep asking me, "Were you sick? Is that why you took a pregnancy test?" Nope. I always took one around the time of my period. This time, I wasn't even expecting it to be positive. My period was only a day late, and ladies know that isn't uncommon. So I took the test and almost threw it away, until I noticed a very faint second purple line. I thought I was seeing things so I sent a picture to my three friends who have both had babies. I wasn't seeing things. It was there. I said, "Oh sh**." I surprised Troyce with two positive tests on his lunch break that day. He didn't know what to say. It took a minute for it to really sink in. I haven't really had much morning sickness, meaning I don't vomit. I feel mostly okay except for at night. Sometimes I can hardly eat anything. Sometimes I feel like there's a huge knot in my stoma...

"We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain." Hebrews 6:19 "The Lord is my light and my salvation - whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life - of whom shall I be afraid?" Psalm 27:1 The one is a two for one. The Hebrews verse reminds us that God is faithfully unchanging and that He is the reason for comfort. The Psalm verse is perfect to read when you are afraid or feel fear. When you feel anxiety and worry, remember God's providence. What do these two verses have in common? Hope. Turning away brings tears. When this happens, look up at God. He is our hope. God is the light of the world. Be reminded of Life's beginning. Hope includes the confidence of the future. Hope = it will. Faith = it is. The world doesn't offer us enough hope. There is too much darkness. Proclaim hope to a dark world and a dark soul. Have hope, and give hope.

Matthew 19 hit home for me. Being a newly wed, marriage is hard. So when I saw that the first section was titled "Divorce," I was intrigued. Work at togetherness and protect your marriage. marriage should not be separated. Do not leave your spouse except for marital unfaithfulness. (I know this is tough, but you have to try and save it at all costs.) Some people are born adulterers, some are made into them. People of all ages, including children, are welcome before Jesus. To get eternal life, you have to follow ALL of the Ten Commandments. You can't pick and choose which ones to follow. You have to give up everything for God. He doesn't care about possessions. He cares about faith. Remember, WITH GOD ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE!

I learned quite a bit from this chapter in Matthew. To start with, whoever humbles themselves is the greatest in the kingdom of Heaven. Something I already knew but was reiterated, children are the most innocent people on this planet. Anyone who makes them sin will drown. Jesus tells us that we, the children of God, need to have the approach of a child. Be like a child. Angels surround me. They surround you. Start with one-on-one confrontation. Start small and grow your attempts if necessary. Back in the day, Whatever body part caused you to sin, you got rid of it. God wants the lost to wander back to Him - He will be forever grateful. Forgive as you would want to be forgiven. Grow in His fellowship. We need to rally in the name of Jesus. If you beg for mercy, give mercy - as many times as the situation occurs.

Matthew 17 is broken into three sections: Transfiguration, The Healing of a Boy With a Demon, and The Temple Tax. The transfiguration begins with Jesus transforming before His disciples, "There he was transfigured before then. His face shone like the sun, and his clothes became as white as the light," (verse 2). This reminds us that Jesus is the light. We have to remember that God gives orders. The resurrection must happen in order for people to know about the transfiguration. In the New Testament, the Son of Man is John the Baptist. He will have to suffer at the hands of the people. He has to be mistreated by the people for things to be restored. The Healing of a Boy With a Demon is where Jesus shuns a demon from the body of a boy, or in todays terms, an exorcism. It reminds us that Jesus will take all of the time you need in order to heal you. Nothing is impossible if you have great faith. Have big prayers. John will be betrayed by the hands of men, and 3 days later he ...

Being an adult is literally the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Troyce and I struggle, a lot. We live paycheck to paycheck. We overspend. We've put $5 in our gas tanks before, and we've filled them up. No one said it would be easy, they just said it would be worth it. We have everything as long as we have each other. That's what we hold on to. The bills get paid. We have a roof over our head and cars to drive. I wouldn't have been able to do it without him just like he wouldn't have been able to do any of it without me. He's also trying this health/work out kick with me. I am so glad we finally have something we can do together. We don't share many common interests, so it's nice to be able to spend this quality time together getting fit and cheering each other on. That's what our marriage is based on: support and guidance. Some days I feel like I want to give up, and I know he does too. That's part of it. As my mama once told me, you have ...

Everyone deals with things differently. What I have recently learned is a hard lesson. Don't settle for the 20% when you have 80%. Because when that 80% is gone, all you have left is 20%. Instead, focus on growing and nursing that 80% to 100%. Just because life gives you lemons doesn't mean you become sour. You make the sweetest lemonade. Acting out and rebelling isn't going to get you anywhere in life. Sometimes you need to take a step back, reexamine the situation, and grow. Distance makes the heart grow fonder. That is something I've most definitely learned in the past week. In relationships and marriages, we get into a rut sometimes. We spend so much time together that we don't have the opportunity to look forward to seeing one another. Sometimes you have to take that day or two to really figure out what it is you love about one another, but you have to do it separately. You have to get your mind straight and focus on yourself, then your marriage. You have to fi...

"Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God." Colossians 3:1-3 These verses remind us of the holiness of God and to fight off Satan. Bring Him your mind for rest and don't get stuck in a renewal rut. Have your mind on things above. Jesus rose above things. You have to rise above the pettiness, declutter your heart. Don't live your life with worry, rise above the concerns. Above all else is the dove. There is nothing that can separate us with the love of Christ. Have life and have it abundantly. You need to be a blessing in the real world. Fill your mind with heavenly things, and find a moment in your life to restore a moment with Christ. Life your thoughts above. Rise above these things. RISE ABOVE!

My world was turned upside down this week. I learned that I was moving shifts at work. I've been on Shift 1 since I've started. This is my family, my friends. It's a bitter sweet moment because this is such a great opportunity, but I'm going to miss everyone. So as I sit here during my last shift, I'm happy, sad, excited, nervous. I've cried for days, and I'm going to continue to cry. All of my guys are upset, and all I can keep thinking about is all of the memories I have with them, the good and the bad. So let's start this new chapter in my life, even if I'm not sure I'm ready. "

There are days that I just can't seem to win. Those days, my depression takes over my entire body. No smiles. No laughs. I feel this wave of fatigue take over me. Every one wants to know how they can help. They can't. It's just something I have to pray about and wait for the storm to pass. It's important to not take anything that I say or do to heart during times like this. My anger will be high. My patience will be thin. I will be annoyed easily. I can say hurtful things in the heat of the moment. Depression is something I battle with every single day. I can't remember for how long, but I know that it's getting easier and easier to manage. I take every day one step at a time, and I get by.

I went to my OBGYN on June 25th to talk to her about some issues I've been having. Well, they weighed me and my jaw hit the floor. Never have I ever been 160. From that day forward, I've stopped eating a lot of bread and potatoes and more fruits and vegetables. I have also been training to do a 5k with my mom. ON June 29th, I went to my PCP to do some blood work. I was down two pounds in just five days. I weighed myself yesterday, and I'm down another THREE pounds, for a total of 5 pounds! I'm no where near where I want to be, but I'm on the right track. Wish me luck!

"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled aground your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God." Ephesians 6: 10-17 This passage is all about temptation and Satan. It r...

We all have demons. We all have problems that we don't talk about. Talking about them makes them so much more real. Who do you confide in? Bottling things up just means a bigger explosion. Pain demands to be felt, and we have someone who feels the pain with us. God is always with us. He knows everything that is happening to us, inside us. He knows before we know. He knows how to fix it, how to make the pain go away. The most important thing is to not bottle up the pain. Let it out. Let the tears roll. That pain inside you is demanding to be felt, to be expressed, to be let out. So let it out.

Ya'll. I never thought I would see the day where I am back normal. I have no stomach problems. Removing these hormones from my body and getting myself on a medicated regimen has done wonders for my body. I can actually live a full life with my husband. I never thought I would get here. Never ever. Thank you to everyone who has supported me in the difficult times the past two years. It really, truly, means so much to me. You will never know how grateful and thankful I am. I also couldn't have done this without God. He was my sole supporter. I can do all things through Him who gives me strength. I had to repeat that saying to me over and over again to take my mind from the pain and actually go to sleep. God does wonders.

"Near the cross of Jesus stood his mother, his mother's sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdelene. When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, 'Dear woman, here is your son,' and to the disciple, 'Here is your mother.' From that time on, this disciple took her into his home." John 19:25-27 Jesus was dependent on Mary. At this time, women were not respected, not honored, they were on the same level with a child, a criminal. It was different in the Old Testament. They used to have to have a man to take care of them. Mom's make us feel better. In His dying moments, He still takes care of His mother. He tells John to take care of her. Why John? James was next in line, Jesus' half brother. James didn't except Jesus until after He ascended into heaven. Jesus was worried about His mother's spirituality. He chose John because He followed Jesus. Be thankful for Godly women. God...

On April 12, 2018 at approximately 4pm my car was hit in the parking lot at the dog park. My poor baby was in the backseat and took a tumble into the floor. I was pulling into a parking spot and a Toyota Tundra backed into me. The tundra pulled perfectly into a parking spot and backed into the spot directly behind it, thus hitting me in the process. My insurance company decided I was not at fault. His insurance company said it was 50/50. I had to pay out of pocket for the deductible. Well, his insurance company called me yesterday to tell me that they have accepted liability for the accident and will be reimbursing me for the deductible. Some things do work out.

So many things to talk about, so I'm going to do more than one post. First thing's first...how do they expect you to pay off your debt when your debt to income ratio is too high? "Apply for a loan and pay off debt today!" Just kidding, your debt to income ration is too high. The lady at the bank actually told me I needed to make more money. Like, really? You don't say. Also, she knew the results of my application on Monday and I had to call her yesterday, leave a message, and wait for her to call me back. That's just bad business and you're messing with people. So now I have to come up with another plan to pay off this credit card. They are the devil!

"Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, 'Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?'And I said, 'Here am I. Send me!'" Isaiah 6:8 God is the King. Isaiah was chosen and he meant it when he said he would go. God will guide you, correct and direct you. He will give you the ability to share the commission. What was Isaiah's task? To teach others, the disobedient, about the word of God. Go out and share what you believe. Jesus shared similar words - He supports us. Start a marketplace with Jesus and others. Go out and share the Gospel.

What is this life we live? We all have dreams. Some achievable, some not so much. We were told that we can do anything that we put our mind to. Is that really the case? I aspire to be just like Det. Olivia Benson on Law and Order: SVU. That will never happen. I live in a fantasy world. I do have dreams, and here lately I haven't been working to achieve them. I've been dillydallying around and haven't been focusing on the bigger picture. I will go get my Master's degree at some point. I will be published again. As soon as I hit "Publish" on this blog post I will begin working on my novella. No more putting it off. Now is the time.

Trey rode with Lexi up to the starting line. He adjusted the GoPro hanging in the back of the car. “There. Now we will be able to assess your racing and make improvements,” Trey smiled. He walked around to the driver side window, leaned down, and gently kissed his wife. Lexi whispered something to him, smiled, and reved up the car. The orange beast shook from the rumble of the exhaust. Trey grinned and walked over to the bleachers. Lexi took a deep breath and gripped her hands around the steering wheels until her knuckles turned white. Her long, brown hair was pulled back in a pony tail. The aroma in the race car consisted of bug spray, exhaust fumes, and racing fuel. Her opponent pulled up next to her in a charcoal 335i BMW with twin turbos and a tune. He must think that he would be able to walk her old Capri. Little did he know that it was a sleeper, but she knew he would be quite the challenge. Lexi glanced over at him. He waved and she returned focus to the pavement. “Do...

"When I saw him, I fell at his feet as though dead. Then he placed his right hand on me and said: 'Do not be afraid. I am the first and the Last. I am the Living One; I was dead, and behold I am alive for ever and ever! And I hold the keys of death and Hades.'" Revelation 1: 17-18 Many people, especially older generations, fear Revelation. They don't understand it. It just isn't what the word is about. What's crazy is that everything from Genesis to Revelation lines up perfectly because of God. If it is in this bible, it is meant to be. This verse is all about His resurrection. Jesus is my story. He is my life. I am here because of Him. So let's debunk the theory that the resurrection is foolish. Jesus' resurrection is the most powerful thing we experience. There is no Christianity without the resurrection. The resurrection is the faith that we hold. Easter isn't just one day for Christians. It is every day. You need to look forward to the day...

Okay, so everyone knows how I was raving about my birth control and getting my IUD. Well, I had it removed for personal reasons. Afterwords, the small cramping I had on my lower left side that I ignored became super sharp. It hit me: I had developed a cyst. The IUD caused me to develop my first ever ovarian cyst. It then ruptured the day after I got my IUD out and I bled horribly for days. I can't say all bad things about the IUD, because it did help more than my pill did, but if you get it, be aware of what it can cause. Learn your body and don't ignore things. If you think something is wrong, call your doctor. Don't be like me!

Okay, so, since I was 18 I have been on the birth control pill for my hormones. I was moody. Agitated. Mean. It helped tremendously. Now that I'm not on it, I've been feeling down. The highs and lows have been draining. I never tied it back to the pill. Now I have to figure out how to control it again. So until I figure it out, ya'll please bare with me. I'm not trying to cry or be mean all the time. If I could control it, I would.

"Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you - unless, of course, you fail the test? And I trust that you will discover that we have not failed the test." 2 Corinthians 13:5-6 How much time do you spend examining your physical self? Your spiritual health? You need to examine the spirituality of your heart. Examine your faith and your Christianity. Pray without ceasing. Allow God to come into your heart. If you don't like the spirituality coming from yourself then change it. Study yourself. Examine the spirituality of your life. Examine your walk with Christ. Control the health of your spirituality. You get closer to Him everyday. Are you on that journey? Stop your busy lives and build a relationship with God. Where is God in your heart? Your life? Pray, hope, have faith.

Okay, so there have been some things that I've wanted to talk about and get off my chest. Let's go back to the basics. Hollywood is not real, it is fiction. Anything that is produced other than a documentary is fiction. So why are we mad about "9-1-1"? It's no different than "Grey's Anatomy" or "Law and Order." It's not realistic. I like it because I live in a fantasy world, which is what that is. Buck and Abby, that's not weird to me. She's not a cougar. They got to know one another without any physical attraction. Now that there is some, why is that wrong? The police and fire scenarios, they're fiction. None of that happens. Or if it does, it doesn't go down like that. Abby calling Buck on calls, not weird. We call firefighters or police officers at calls if it pertains to the call and saves lives. Get over it, guys. It's Hollywood!

"Do yo not know? Have you not heard? Has it not been told you from the beginning? Have you not understood since the earth was founded? He sits enthroned above the circle of the earth, and its people are like grasshoppers. He stretches out the heavens like a canopy, and spreads them out like a tent to live in." Isaiah 40:21-22 The first two sentences of this verse is stated twice in this chapter of Isaiah. That's how important it is. You know all of this. We are all aware of the power of God, His capabilities. He is big, great, holy. You've felt Him. He gives so much hope and love. Did you know that the largest statue of Jesus is in Rio? Also, Isaiah is the most influential book in the old testament. Some times we get tired, sick,weary, hopeless. Give it all to God and you can soar like an eagle. Do you know know how big God is? Don't let other things get in front of God. There is nothing greater than God - He's above the heaven and earth. He is in charge. Don...

I have felt so many different emotions in January. It was a difficult month for me. My New Year's resolution was to not skip a day of my devotionals. Well, I failed. It is now my new goal to not go a day without reading them. I have felt anger. Hatred. Love. Pain. Sadness. It has been a whirlwind. I've felt alone. I've felt overwhelmed. I've had to keep myself from having a beer or glass of wine every time I have a bad day because alcoholism runs in my family...both sides. With that being said, I'm going to talk about positive things. For starters, I have a new team member on my LimeLight team! Super exciting. Second, on February 17th I am doing a Vender Event in Maumelle. Third, I am doing an in-home party on March 17th. So big things coming up! I'm so excited to grow and expand my business. I may sound like I'm rambling, but I haven't posted in a while so I'm trying to catch up on things. More to come later!

I wasn't going to comment on the subject, but I'm tired of hearing about it and I'm tired of all of it. Let's talk about H&M. Being a devout Christian, I have faith in the good in everyone. I believe that people are not born bad, they are born good. It is their decisions that make them bad. In all my heart and soul I believe that this company did not purposefully upset thousands of people. It's not an offensive post. Nothing about it is racist. What makes it racist is the people who call it racism. Racism is still around because people can't let go of something that happens, literally, over 200 years ago. Name one person in your living family that has been held as a slave because of slavery. Did you forget that it was abolished in 1865 by the 13th Amendment thanks to President Abraham Lincoln. Now tell me how that affects you today? You were not held as a slave. Times are progressing, so why are we so bent out of shape because of a sweatshirt that a precious...

"But now, this is what the Lord says - he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: 'Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior; I give Egypt for your ransom, Cush and Seba in your stead. Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you, I will give men in exchange for you, and people in exchange for your life. Do not be afraid, for I am with you; I will bring your children from the east and gather you from the west. I will say to the north, 'Give them up!' and to the south, 'Do not hold them back.' Bring my sons form afar and my daughters from the ends of the earth - everyone who is called by my name, whom I created for m...