Growing up, I was fat shamed. It was more in middle school and junior high, before I started soccer. I was made fun of. I hated myself. Bullying makes you hate yourself. Even to this day, I struggle with my body image. Before the wedding, I was so worried about my dress being too tight, because I gained some weight back after being put on my IBS medication. It didn't fit as well as it did when we bought it. So I watched calories. I counted calories. I cut out carbs. I was miserable. Every time I put it on and it was tight, I cried. I look in the mirror and see fat. Cellulite. Grossness. I have forgiven the people who made me hate myself, because I'm learning to love myself. It's a struggle, but loving myself is the hardest but most rewarding thing I've ever done. I also found a way to help with bloating from my IBS. I'm working on me and trying to love myself unconditionally. I'm tired of hating myself. It's time for some love.
I just recently finished "The Book Thief" by Markus Zusak. I had no idea what this novel was going to be about going into it; all I knew was that our 10th grade English class study it. Right off the bat I noticed that our narrator was not your average Joe. The narrator is death. When I realized this I said to myself, "Oh this is going to be good." The novel is all about the Holocaust and it is shown from a German point of view. Leisel Meminger's mother gives her away to a foster German family. On the trip to this new family, Leisel's brother dies. So right from the start death is there. I'm not going to give you a synopsis of it, because I think you should read it for yourself. Just know that a German family hides a Jew in their basement for a while, and death is around every corner. That last line of the novel really got me though..."I am haunted by humans."
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