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More of my Memoir

Seventh grade was about the same. I made more enemies, less friends. I never understood until now why I was so hated. I had channeled all of my negative energy the wrong way. Bullying is a cycle. If you are bullied, then you tend to want to make people feel the way you’ve felt. It’s not right. This cycle needs to be broken. In junior high, I spent so much time in the counselor’s office because of the way I treated people. It was always about me and what I did. No one ever got disciplined for bullying me. Towards the end of my eighth grade year, we were watching a movie in my Arkansas History class. The movie was Forest Gump. One of the football players in the class decided to ask my teacher what the movie was rated. She responded with “PG-13.” His response will haunt me for the rest of my life. He said, “Well Leigh Ann has to get out because she is only 12.” I had to leave the room to go to the bathroom and cry. It was the absolute worst day of my life. I was completely humiliated. I had accomplished so many things so far in life, but I was being punished. He was not disciplined. Neither was the boy who told the entire class that I had to be a lesbian because I looked like a man. Nothing was done to him. But I got Saturday school for a couple of weeks for cyberbullying a girl. I completely traumatized her and deserved the punishment I got; however, no one was ever punished for what they did to me. My group of “friends” would see me approaching the group and as soon as I reached them they would turn and walk away, leaving me standing there by myself wondering why everyone hated me. Nothing really changed in my life until I joined the high school soccer team my freshman year. The exercise helped with my anger, and even though I wasn’t super aggressive on the field, the adrenaline from playing the game helped me channel my negative energy. At my highest weight, I weighed 140 pounds at thirteen. After I started soccer, I lost twenty pounds and kind of matured through puberty. People were less mean to me, but the pain was still there. Guys started becoming interested in me, but dating was hard since I was only thirteen in the ninth grade. I couldn’t do a lot of things or go out.

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