Guardian Angel

2017 has been probably one of the worsts years in a while. Yeah, I got married, but there have been so many hard times. It's been more than I could bear. My faith has remained strong. I somewhat have my health under control. It's more under control than it was this time last year. I'm working on building myself up and building my business. I have financial goals for 2018 that I'm ready to meet. I have so many others life goals I want to accomplish. I didn't get the promotions I wanted. I didn't get a lot of things I've wanted. I've worried. I've stressed. Every night I thank God for allowing me to live another day. I can't wait to continue to grow with Him in 2018. Here's to a new year!

Having this blog has made me branch out and not be shy. With that being said, we're going to get pretty personal in just a bit. For starters, I want to clarify something. If I express any negative, positive, sad, etc., emotions on here, it's because I want people to know that it's okay to feel those things and they aren't alone. I want people to know they have someone who can relate to them. Do I struggle with emotions? Of course. It.Does.Not.Mean.I'm.Suicidal. So don't go ask my parents about it. I promise if I was, this would not be the place I would express that. No one would know. Second, I have been doing a lot better since I changed my birth control. I used to have so many pains when I was ovulating and on my period. My doctor tried to tell me it was all about my diet and that I needed to cut out dairy and gluten. I told her I had already done that and nothing changed. I also told her I wasn't allergic to either one because I have had every test done k...

"But the angel said to them, 'Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.' Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel praising God and saying, 'Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests.' When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, 'Let's go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.'" Luke 2:10-15 Today in church we watched a clip from "Charlie Brown Christmas." It was the part where Charlie Brown and Lioness bring the scrawny Christmas tree into the auditorium. They all wanted to know why he had picked such a wimpy tree. He then asked, "Doesn't anyone know the real reason...

I have really been struggling today. I'm not sure what it is. I feel like I'm alone. Like I have no friends. I feel bullied a lot. Used. Abused. Mistreated. And every time I try to talk to someone about it, I end up being the problem. I apparently need to change myself. If I want people to be nice to me then I need to be nice to them. I'm not doing anything wrong. This has happened to me my entire life. I'm always just told to let it roll off of me. Do you know how hard that is to do? People say they always have my back. But do they? I was tortured most of my life. It has made me so depressed. Some days I really hate myself. No one should have to live like that. Today I feel friendless, depressed, and just out right worthless. I am a disappointment to myself. I am so tired of feeling this way. So if anyone knows of any "pick me up"s please let me know.

"With that shall I come before the Lord and bow down before the exalted God? Shall I come before him with burnt offerings, with calves a year old? Will the Lord be pleased with thousands of rams, with ten thousand rivers of oil? Shall I offer my firstborn for my transgression, the fruit of my body for the sin of my soul? He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." Micah 6:6-8 Let's remember that God is the reason for Christmas. Jesus was just, He was fair. We have to live as God lived. Stand before God. Feel the Presence. Know He is your God. Do you want mercy? You have to give mercy to receive mercy. Do as God demands and desires. God will change your life. We forget who is in charge- it is not you or I. God made us to love like He does, be Just like He is, He made us in His image. He brought us here. He saved us. Remember what it's like to be a child of God. Our wor...

"Murder on Potrero Hill" by ML Hamilton was quite the read. Yes, I've been busy reading on night shift. It really made me angry. People who don't know about law enforcement shouldn't write about it. First of all, it isn't always the husband/wife. It could be anyone. So every time they said, "It's always the husband," I got extremely angry and almost had to close the book. It wasn't correct. They literally ruined a man's life because they refused to believe that he wasn't involved. In one day, before they had any evidence, they froze his bank accounts, got him fired, shut down his bus pass, and basically gave him no means of life. What jerks. That doesn't happen. Not without probably cause and legitimate evidence. They may monitor you, but they aren't going to cut you out of society. It was still a decent book though.

Well guys, I have finished the series of the "Free to..." by Julie Mellon. I'm so sad because I want it to keep going. I'm so invested in all of these characters, it's made me want more and more and I've felt a personal connection with the characters. I feel like I'm one of the agents in the FBI with them. I highly recommend you read her books. They're fantastic and an easy read.

"Free to Kill" by Julie Mellon was a ebook I downloaded on my Kindle for free. I'm always weary of free books, because they're free for a reason right? Wrong. This was one of the best mysteries I've read in quite some time. I was a thriller. It kept me on my toes. Now I have to go see if there are other books in this series because I literally can't deal with it anymore. I read this ebook in one night shift. Less than twelve hours. Ya'll have to go download this book.

The month of November has been a roller coaster of emotions. There was an incident that we didn't foresee happening. It took a major toll on our marriage. We have since learned and grown from this experience. We also thought my car was going to last YEARS, but unfortunately, with all of the work that has been put into it and with stuff still going wrong, we couldn't afford to keep dishing out money on a vehicle that was already paid for...so I had to get a new car. I would rather put money into something that isn't going to overheat instead of putting money into a vehicle that keeps leaking coolant somehow and the Ford dealerships can't seem to fix it right. I also have to get better with my profanity. This has been a stressful month, and I needed an outlet. That was the wrong way to go about it, but it sure felt better when I let it out. I need to focus my frustrations in the word of God. I have figured out some issues of my health problems. The main problem is my birt...

"'Do not come any closer,' God said. 'Take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy ground.' Then he said, 'I am the God of your father, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob.' At this, Moses hid his face, because he was afraid to look at God." Exodus 3:5-6 Moses was a basket case. He was losing his fire. God got his attention. God was speaking to Moses, reminding him of his potential. Moses was overwhelmed. He became embarrassed and hid his face from God. His mother put him in a basket and floated him down the river. God had a very special thing in plan for Moses. Do we lose our fire? We are sometimes basket cases. God reminded Moses of the power of the Almighty God. We are blessed to be in this holy place. Don't hide your face, my God reigns. Thank God. Burn that fire within me, redeem me with your love, bless me with your power. My holy place is at the cemetery with my grandparents. I embrace it.

Let me tell you about itWorks! It doesn't work. I felt like death last night. I literally thought I was going to have to go to the hospital. I was laying in dead, wishing I was dead, in so much pain. I've NEVER felt like this in the whole time I've had stomach problems. I've been taking fat fighters, and I haven't lost any weight. I'm not going to be doing it anymore. I have to do one more month of autoships before I can cancel :/ I will get the product, but I'm not going to use it. I'm going to be doing Herbalife in January.

I enjoyed "Jane Eyre" for the first part. It climaxed extremely well and then I just felt like it plateaued. It got dense. It got somewhat boring. In the end, she got the guy she wanted. It was a long read, but I would suggest it. It was witty and a good read.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING! Remember, families fight, turkeys explode, but at the end of the day, we all love each other. I will be watching over the City of Benton today. If anything goes wrong, give me a call. Stay safe, drive sober, and enjoy every moment you can with your loved ones.

Last night I was having a rough night with my stomach, as I always do when I approach my menstrual cycle. I was laying in bed on my back, somewhat nauseous, and had my heating pad. I started repeating to myself, "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." Over and over again I said this to myself. The pains went away. When my mind started to wander away from Philippians 4:13, I brought myself back to it. This goes to prove that God heals and He will take care of you.

I know it's been quite a while since I've done an update on my blog. I have had a lot going on and quite frankly haven't felt like talking. I've been stressed. I've been depressed. I've been unmotivated. Things haven't been going the best, but I'm working on it. I'm working on my relationship with God. Without Him I am nothing. He is the only one who can give me strength and peace. Stay tuned for my progress within the next few weeks.

Proverbs 17 teaches us a few things. It reminds us to count our blessings. He wants to know the nature of your heart. Hear no evil, speak no evil. Don't mock or gloat. Lose the arrogance and learn from your mistakes. We can't allow for history to repeat itself. Payback gets you no where, and rebellion is evil like the man who commits it. Violence is never the answer. Don't get even with people. JUST LET IT GO!. Money can't make you happy. There will be hard times in friendships. Lack of judgement will build walls. Deceit gets you into trouble. Don't be a fool and always be cheerful. Don't have wandering eyes, keep them on the horizon. Being foolish will hurt your father. The innocent should not be punished. Control your anger. Hold your tongue and keep your mouth shut. Proverbs 18 tells us to be friendly. Get rid of the wickedness and don't be shameful. Speak God's word. Focus on justice, not on the wicked. Keep your mouth shut and don't be foolish....

"Jesus said to them, 'Have you never read in the Scriptures: The stone the builders rejected has become the capstone; the Lord has done this, and it is marvelous in our eyes? Therefore I tell you that the kingdom of God will be taken away from you and given to a people who will produce its fruit.'" Matthew 21: 42-43 It is so important to focus on God. The family unit needs to work together for faith and morality. The foundation has to be done correctly. Jesus is the capstone or the cornerstone. People have always rejected Christ, but it has increased over time. God should be the center of all you do and the center of all families. Churches were full because everyone went to church together. You need to want to go to church. Morality is declining because faith is declining. Anything important to us becomes our center focus. Our foundation is crumbling because Jesus hasn't been made the cornerstone or the capstone. What is the basis of our faith? Bring your children...

I have not laughed so hard reading a novel in so long. This play was a great comedy. The fact that both men pretended to be Earnest when neither of them were. Jack wasn't going to consent for Cecily to get married until he got consent to marry Gwendolyn. Lady Bracknell said that people don't need to know each other's characters before they get married. It was just a great play. I recommend.

Proverbs 16 tells us that the Lord knows the replies that come off your tongue. He measures your motives. Put all you do in the Lord and you will succeed. The Lord has a plan. Being proud will get you punished. God knows your plan, so please Him. You have to be honest and you can't betray the word of God. Speak the truth and be righteous. Show happiness in your face. Don't guard your life. You have to understand it. You way isn't always God's way. Don't plot evil. No gossip. Don't be perverse. Violence is not the answer. Actions speak. Don't fight and be patient. IT'S HIS WILL!

"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." Galatians 5:1 Don't submit to sin and don't spend eternity with the monster. Don't let Satan control you. Satan has caused much pain and suffering for thousands of years. Don't be enslaved by worldly desires. We need conviction of sin and mortification of sin. Stay way from old patterns. Don't surround yourselves with weaknesses. Christ has set us free, stand firm, and don't be enslaved again. Delete your sin and modify your life. Put aside your worldly desire - serve your God. Restore fellowship with your God. The farther away from God you wander, the more numb your soul and heart become. Have time for God. God, give us an opportunity to be convicted and be forgiven.

I'm slowly but surely getting these done. Proverbs 15 tells us to be knowledgeable and kind. God sees everything. We need to learn from our mistakes. You need to be wise and pray to God. Take any discipline with a kind heart, and don't mock it. Have a happy heart. Be cheerful and you will have bounty. You must fear the Lord. Be patient, everything happens for a reason. Being wise brings joy. Let the Lord advise you. Being wise will lead your life in an upward direction. Don't let your pride run your life. Be pure in all you do, and always be positive. Correct yourself to better understand what you're doing wrong. Don't let your pride get the best of you.

I have been slipping on my profanity. The angrier I get, the more I want to say bad words. I'm working on getting back on track and living a happy life. Things won't always go as planned, but there are other ways to express emotion that taking it out on others. Things will work out for the better and everything happens for a reason.

I brought my car in at 7am on 10/10/17 because I had a check engine light on. I had the code read at O'Reilly’s and they told me what it was showing. I took it to Crain Ford to get a diagnostic. They never asked for my name, just a phone number. It took 3.5 hours. Upon call from Mary, we were informed that it was the coolant bypass valve. It was $60 for the part and would be $195 altogether. We authorized it. She then called back saying that they wouldn't do it without updating the software on the car, which would cost $400. We discussed it and decided we couldn't do that. I called back and could not get ahold of her, and this happened a couple of times. I asked to speak to the service manager. I was informed he was with a tech and a customer. So I asked to speak to literally anyone who was available. I was transferred to Carlos. It took him quite a while to find the paperwork, since she didn't ask for my name. He was extremely helpful and advised that Mary had not read...

I've always wanted to read "The Scarlet Letter." So I bought it. It was a very slow and dense read. I'm a firm believer in taking consequences for your actions. Hester Prynne should not have been the only one outcasted for having a child out of wedlock. The man should have been scorned as well, only she wouldn't say who it was. As the story goes on, I have theories on who the baby daddy is. Turns out I was right. Little Pearl wasn't actually born out of wedlock, but Hester was married to Roger Chillingsworth. He allowed for Hester to take the fall for the child. He did not claim his guilt. He is a narcissist. The story really started picking up a little over halfway though the book. At the end, I was glad that the Reverend held hand in hand with Hester and Pearl and the scarlet letter was no more. Hester felt a weight lifted off of her. She could let her hair down and be a woman again. She was burned for no reason, and she allowed it. This shows how feminism h...

My life before Christ was filled with hatred. Uncertainty. A loss of life. What are the circumstances that I came to know Jesus? Troyce asked me to go to church with him right after we started dating. I said yes. He got me back into the church. I felt so revived. So full of life. So when he was out of town, I went to my parents church. When he was in town, we went to my church and his. I found the God my grandmother always wanted me to find. The woman who inspired this blog. My relationship with Jesus has changed my life in many ways. I have found hope. I have found self confidence. I have found happiness. I have found peace. It isn't always easy. You break down at points, but Jesus lifts you right back up. What is God currently doing in my life today? He is working on my marriage. He is trying to direct me in my direction in life. He is teaching me how to be a better person and have pride in myself. I am SO GLAD to be able to say that I devote my life to God. He is the savior of m...

"When Peter came to Antioch, I opposed him to his face, because he was clearly in the wrong. Before certain men came from James, he used to eat with the Gentiles. But when they arrived, he began to draw back and separate himself from the Gentiles because he was afraid of those who belonged to the circumcision group." Galations 2:11-12 Peter is also known as Cephas. The circumcision group is known as the Jews. These are the words of Paul. He confronted Peter, who made a bad choice. There was conflict along the way. There was some disagreement in this passage. Peter was telling Paul to not change the game plan. We have to support each other and guide each other. Paul and Peter worked together. They knew what they were supposed to be doing and where they are going. We need to pray for people. We are responsible for the works we do on this earth. Be a spiritual friend for someone. Love and support them. We are joined together as a family of God, we are all trying to get to that ...

The first night back on nights is always the worst. Mostly because the first night I ever worked nights, I got sick the morning I got home. That is when I started having all of my stomach issues. I thought night shift caused it. I thought it was because I had been up since 9am the day before. That is not the case. I was up at 9am yesterday, couldn't take a nap, couldn't go back to sleep, and then I worked all night. I was perfectly fine. I have come to realize that I have a condition. It has been managed for months now. I am thinking about cutting back on my medication, maybe even quitting it all together. I'm out of refills of it. I will have to request a refill, which will result in having to see the doctor. I will be off of it until I see the doctor. I want to see how I do off the medication, to see if it can be managed with just probiotics. There is over the counter IBS medication if I need it. I am overcoming this. It will not win. I will be victorious.

I need this this morning, so I figure there are a few other people who do as well. Proverbs 13 tells us to listen to our Father and to always be faithful to Him. Don't gossip, just keep your mouth closed. Work for what you have/need. Don't advertise what you have, just maintain your integrity. Righteousness is extremely important. Get rid of your pride and have wisdom. Teach others the way to God. Do as you are told/instructed to do. God's creation needs to be faithful to God's goodness. Be trustworthy and honest. Take the correction/discipline and grow from it. Don't ignore the change that needs to happen. Fulfill your goals. Stay away from the wicked/toxic people (yes I know it's hard). Always have prosperity and save money for your grandkids so they can have a great life. Discipline your children because you love them. Lastly, eat healthy. Proverbs 14 advises for us to build our own foundation and to fear the Lord. Don't let your mouth get the best of yo...

Yesterday was a rough day for me, not going to lie. I'm working on it. Troyce and I are working together as a team. He keeps me focused, and he drives me crazy. I actually got some good sleep last night, for the first time in days. I was sleeping so good he thought I was dead. So bear with me as I try to gain control of my emotions and let God take control of my life. It has been hard. I hate asking for help, but it has to be done. Every time I give something to God, I feel as though a piece of me is missing, but a weight has been lifted. I'm no longer holding on to that baggage. It's so great to feel that way.

I am so tired of being walked over. A key is misplaced and then it is somehow my fault because I move everything. Then it's found where it was left. I got the shower curtain wet because I didn't know it was in the shower, because I can't see without my glasses. All everyone ever do is gripe at me. Uniforms at work because apparently only one person dresses appropriately. I'm sorry my heels, blouses, scarves, expensive makeup, earrings, and jewelry, isn't nice enough for you. I'm sorry that I come to work, try my best, and no one notices. That's fine, because God notices. He knows I work hard and He knows what His plan is for me. He won't let me live like this for long. I trust Him. So from now on, I won't be walked over. I won't be shut down. You can't mess with me.

Troyce and I are upside down on his car. We know this, we know we made a bad investment. We may have potentially found a way to fix it with a new vehicle. The problem is, the one salesman at this dealership that even wants to talk to us, can't do anything with us until tomorrow. The other people at this dealership don't want to deal with anyone who is upside down. Guess they don't want to sell a car. Guess they don't want to make any money. That's fine, we will take our money somewhere else. I've had bad run in's with the Landers Chevrolet here in Benton, and now Landers Auto Sales in Bryant. It will be a shock if I EVER buy anything from a dealership that has "Landers" on the front of it. All they are is stuck up and don't want to help anyone but themselves. They try to force you to buy service agreements, even when you aren't required to purchase one. "Oh, well we aren't selling the car without it." That's fine, buh-bye....

"The Lord said to Satan, 'Very well, then, everything he has is in your hands, but on the man himself do not lay a finger.' Then Satan went out from the presence of the Lord." Job 1:12 This goes to show the imperfection of the world. These people were given a choice and they chose the wrong one. God gave Satan an opportunity to mess with Job. He gives Satan the opportunity to mess with everyone. Job continued to love Jesus Christ. You need to do everything you can to make Satan mad. The devil looks for someone to devour. Stay strong with your faith. Everyone has the same struggle. There are four things we can do to anger the devil. 1: have a Godly house, home, and family. 2: Live up to your potential. 3: Have purity in an age of corruption. 4: Have strong bible preaching and teaching. Take your success and wisdom and give credit to God. Give back what God has asked you to give back. People are walking away from God and the church. Satan is beautiful and presents to u...

This past month or so has been phenomenal, health wise. I have felt so great, minus the fact that I'm just fatigued. I have finally found the right probiotic to mix with my IBS medication. It has done wonders. I have only had discomfort, not any pains. It's been a journey, but I'm finally starting to see the positives coming out of this. I can do more. I feel better. Now I just have to find something to help with my energy. I could sleep all day every day and not get enough sleep. Autoimmune disorders weigh on the body, but I'm working on it.

Everyone has that stuffed animal or blanket that they've had since they were literally born. Mine is a bunny. It's worn out. Body parts have been stitched back together. stuffing has been put back in. It went everywhere with me, and I slept with it every night until I was about fourteen. Last night, Stormie had a baby bunny on the porch that she was playing with, with the intent to kill. With everything going on lately, I broke down. She can have all the mice and moles in the world, but not a precious bunny. So at the age of twenty-one, I slept with my bunny last night. I needed to feel that comfort. I needed to relive those memories. I needed to feel secure. You are never to old to need to feel that comfort.

Have you ever sat in your living room in total darkness at 10:00pm, crying to yourself because you feel out of control. The room is still, quiet, comforting. Even when you're alone you somehow feel blanketed. That was me last night. For no reason at all, I felt like my life was just crumbling. Stupid hormones. I felt the presence of God. He comforted me, calmed me down. Allowed for me to go crawl back into bed. I felt secure. I felt at peace. That my friends, is God's work. He was there with me, holding me close to Him, and I let Him. I let Him take control.

There are just some things dispatchers don't say. Things like "calm" or "quiet." They don't even think those things, because it hits the fan. It's a curse. Dispatch is more than just sending people to calls. We are therapists. We are call takers. Have you ever heard actual terror in someone's voice? You've never heard a distraught mom because her newborn quit breathing in the night. That sticks with you. Has your house ever caught on fire and you don't know if everyone got out okay? Have you ever been so terrified that you're shaking? Dispatch is there to make sure you get the help you need. Working dispatch is having an officer sprint around the block to get an unresponsive child and run them to the rescue team. It's not knowing whether or not that child will be okay. It's never knowing the outcome. It's the initial call. We are the voice on the phone. Without us, no one would get help. Everyone thinks that we are just dispa...

For so long, I have allowed for anger to control and rule my life. I have anger issues. I have control issues. I can flip a mood on the fly. I'm not proud of these things. I want to live a happy and normal life. Studying the word of God has allowed for me to start this journey of being happy. I don't want to sleep all the time. I don't want to be hateful all the time. I don't want to be angry all the time. I want to live life to it's fullest without anything getting in my way. This is my goal in life, and I will achieve it.

There are many dark thoughts that haunt my mind. Will Troyce leave me? Will I fail as a writer? Will I ever be able to make it in life? Am I fat? Why do I hate the way I look? Taking inventory of these thoughts is me putting them to death. I am getting over these thoughts and I am starting fresh. No more self destructive thoughts. I will only allow for positive thoughts to flow through my mind. Nothing will be able to destroy me again. I have to start thinking about heavenly things, not earthly things.

"Do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you. On him God the Father has placed his seal of approval." John 6:27 This verse tells us a couple of things. It reminds us of His security. It tells us that these earthly things won't last. We need to take a day of rest from our labors. That is why we have Labor Day...and here I am at work talking about this. We need to tie labor day into our rest from our spiritual bodies. You will always be thirsty and hungry. You work all of your life, put money into a 401K, and then the stock market crashes. Our relationship with God is something that will never change. Without God we are nothing. God gave you breath and brains. Everything we are, have, and hope to be came from God. Jesus Christ came for us, serving, healing, teaching, and loving. You will offend people. That's part of it. God will place the seal of approval on your work. It is important for us to labor,...

August has been a whirlwind of emotions, and frankly I'm glad it's over. I just need it to be 2018. New year, new me right? Night shift takes a toll on me and my relationships. I am chronically unavailable on night shift. With that being said, I'm also working a second job, selling makeup on the side. My makeup business didn't do too hot this month. But what can you do? School started. There was a hurricane. Everyone is trying to pay for tuition and school supplies. School clothes. I will just keep pushing and fighting for success. I have to be my biggest motivator. Customers: if you have no intention of purchasing from me in the future, then don't ask me about the product. It is a waste of my time to tell you how great our chemical free makeup is for you to post on Facebook about how you can't wait to try your Younique. It is an embarrassment for both of us, so just don't. I'm not being salty. I am cutting toxins out of my life. This month I have had to...

Have you ever had the best support system there could possibly be, but felt like no one was supporting you and that you were taking on all of the stress by yourself? Do you have friends or significant others who are emotionally unavailable? That's how I've been feeling these past few days. It has felt like my world has been turned upside down. I have been turning to God more. I have been studying and praying more. What I haven't been doing is asking for His help. For Him to support me and guide me. He is the only one who can always root for me and not be partial. He is the only one who can take away all of my stress and worry. Why is it so hard to give it all away to Him? Maybe it's because I like to micromanage everything. I don't know. It's hard, but I'm learning to let Him guide me and support me every step of the way.

The old me would want to get revenge on the people who are trying to destroy my life. The new me is glad that I can give it to God and forgive them. It is really hard, but I am making do. I am trying my hardest to move on from this situation and to move on with my life. These people will not take my peace from me. They will not steal my happiness. They will not win. I will come out on top.

Proverbs 10 begins to Proverbs of Solomon. It tells us to make our Father happy. He will provide for His followers. You need to work for everything you have. Evil brings violence. Do not stray from the path of righteousness. We need to get rid of the hatred and be full of love. It shouldn't take a hurricane for America to come together. Don't ignore your wrongdoing, embrace it and move on. Gossip is a terrible thing, and we should stay away from it. Keeping your mouth shut is the best way to live life. The Lord's love will make you "rich." If you fear your Father, you will live a long life. The Lord brings salvation to people. The followers of the Lord know what needs to be done, and they are working on doing it. Proverbs 11 tells us to get rid of our pride. We need to follow the Lord and be faithful. You will have righteousness after death. You mustn't be unfaithful. Trouble falls on the wicked. Prosper and you won't perish. Don't gossip about your n...

I just want to say how terrible that sarahah app is. It is degrading and humiliating. I told myself I wasn't going to download it after what happened with ask.fm. But I finally gave in to the trend. I had the app for 3 hours. I got only one post, and it was possibly the meanest thing anyone could ever say to me. We are adults. Why don't we act like ones? If you have nothing nice to say about me, then at least say it to my face. Go post it on my Facebook wall. Don't do it anonymously, that just makes you a coward. PARENTS: MONITOR YOUR CHILDREN. If they have this app check to make sure that no one is telling them to go kill themselves, like it has happened in other states. People are mean. We need to stop this epidemic.

I just have to tell you guys. Monday night I came home from my second job around 10pm. I was so tired, emotionally and physically. I got out of my car and when I went to go open the door to my house, I saw a note that said, "Follow the trail of kisses." Upon opening the door, I saw a trail of Hershey kisses going from the kitchen to our bedroom, into our bathroom. There, I found Troyce standing next to the bathtub. He had started me a candlelit bubble bath and there were roses surrounding the bathtub. I immediately get into the bathtub because at this point my feet are killing me. He brings me a glass of wine, and goes and cooks DINNER. At 10pm he cooks dinner. I'm talking baked cajun chicken. Pasta sides. And of course, mac n cheese. He had HUNG UP AND FOLDED all of the laundry and cleaned up the porch from where the kittens had made a mess. I'm sitting there thinking that I'm dreaming. This man realizes how hard I work and decided I needed a break. I am so bless...

You guys! Yesterday I went a whole day without saying a single bad word! Today, I've said minimal. I'm doing so good. I'm proud of myself. I'm trying to decide if I want to quit writing, or keep going. It's hard getting rejection letters. Or emails I should say. I'm working on bettering myself, so if anyone has any ideas, I'll take the constructive criticism.

I can't sleep. My eyes just won't shut. My stomach is cramping up because it's that time of the month. And I'm having hot flashes. So I'm laying here listening to my husband breathe, and thinking about just how blessed I am. This man takes care of me when I'm having a bad day. Listens when I need to talk even if he doesn't say anything. Most importantly, he loves me for who I am. So yeah, it's 1 AM and I'm laying here running my fingers through his hair. I wouldn't trade it for the world.

There is one question that I just will not answer because it is preposterous. How's married life? It's like asking someone if they feel older on their birthday. I don't know, Kathy, how is being retired? What do you say to that? "Oh, it's just fine. He hasn't died yet." Like, don't ask me that. It's vulgar and I just won't answer it. Not to be rude, but sorry.

It is time to accept who God has called me to be. I'm not sure what my end game is. I'm not sure what I'm going to spend my life doing. All I know is that I am here to worship God, and do some writing along the way. He will lead me where I need to go. He has a plan for me. He will show it to me when He is ready, not when I am ready. I am going to take every opportunity that is given to me. I will give it a leap of faith from here on out. I also am trying to cut out profanity in my life. I need to replace it with something else, if anyone has any suggestions.

Coworkers, parents, Troyce, in-laws, myself, friends. I have allowed for all of these people to steal my peace, including myself. It is time to let bygones be bygones and improve/repair relationships. I can't keep living my life like this. One day at a time, I'm trying to wake up smiling.

"D not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit." Ephesians 5:18 Let the light of the Lord fill you, not alcohol. John Wesley founded the Methodist Movement. His heart felt relatively warm one day. Some thought it was heartburn. It was actually Jesus in him. Sometimes we just want to feel better so we look to the world. John speaks of something eternal. The Holy Spirit will help us all of the days of our lives. You need to feel the presence of God. God will calm you through His presence. The only way to solve the problem in our culture is God. Jesus never changes. He will never leave you nor forsake you. We don't worship Him the way we should. Don't ignore Him. Bring that burn to your soul. Make Him important. Place everything at the foot of the cross. Rely on Him. It gives us hope. It reminds us. You are worthy of our praise, Lord. Don't look for rescue in places that can't rescue you. Come, Holy Spirit. Renew our hear...

Proverbs 8 is titled "Wisdom's Call." It tells us that wisdom and understanding come out to you. Wisdom doesn't lie to you. Nothing is greater than wisdom. Don't have a big ego. Great things come from wisdom. Have wisdom and you will succeed. Wisdom has been around since the creation of the earth. Have wisdom and you will be blessed. The Lord will provide if you believe. If you don't have wisdom then you are evil. Proverbs 9 is titled "Invitations of Wisdom and of Folly." Wisdom searches for the lost. Change and you will be alive. Don't judge or make fun. Wisdom brings rewards. Folly is the opposite. Folly condones evil. She represents deceit. This concludes the Prologue of Proverbs.

Saving Brittany She sat in Brittany’s driveway inside her red SUV, dreading to get out. They hadn’t spoken since before Thanksgiving, when she swore she was never going to have anything to do with Brittany again. Brittany ran up to her car while trying not to fall to the ground. “Heyyyyy! You look great. How you been doin’?” As soon as Brittany reached Kristen’s car the door was pried open. Brittany leaned against the open door and pulled Kristen out of the car. Kristen forced a smile as she studied Brittany. Brittany’s eyes were sunken back into her head and it seemed as if she hadn’t showered in weeks. Her thick, brown hair was matted and falling out of a messy bun. Her old makeup was smeared across her bony face. Brittany was wearing bleach-stained sweat pants and a white t-shirt covered in brown dirt stains. Her cracked lips formed into a smile, showing yellow teeth. “Why’a always look s’nice? I love that you dyed your hair back brown. And look how long it’s got. Have you ...

Picture Perfect Memory She couldn’t move. Her body was frozen in place. The heart that once pumped so much blood and loved so deeply was now in a million pieces. She continued staring at her phone, her eyes not blinking. A tear slowly ran down her face. Her chest burned, almost as if it was on fire. All of a sudden, she broke down and began sobbing uncontrollably. After ten minutes she grabbed, with much force, a tissue out of the purple Kleenex box on her desk. She turned the white cloth black from her tears. She rose, clenching her fists so hard that her knuckles turned white. After a moment, she walked over to her cloth picture holders and yanked out the dozens of happy pictures, tearing them in half. She grabbed the framed pictures and piled them on the bed with the fragments of the other pictures. The fire in her chest began to weaken. Almost breaking the knob on her dresser when she opened it, she threw the clothes he gave her onto her bed. She yanked her necklace from her neck, ...

Miracles Exist Their old, wooden house had sat in the middle of an open pasture. Water dripped through the patchwork of rusted out tin, and there was molded wood covering the sides of the structure. Cara remembered the one sole window in the four-by-four kitchen that her mommy could never see to scrub the dust from. The single bathroom could barely fit a person, and the floor was low in some spots where the foundation lacked. The lone bedroom contained two cots that barely held any weight. She could see her daddy sitting in his chair, staring at the letter from the water company. Cara had only been five, but she could read the letter saying, “FINAL NOTICE.” Her daddy would sigh, and throw the letter on the table. They had one kerosene lamp in their shack. The light danced against the darkness inside their home, and Cara remembered seeing her daddy’s concerned face. It was only later in life that Cara learned that the old farmhouse had never been Tommy and Emma Lee’s ideal home, but ...

Behind Closed Doors “Damn it, Margaret. You’ve sure done it again. Everyone in our town knows what a filthy whore you are. You know how I like things. What in your god-damn mind makes you think that this filthy house passes my inspection? You stupid waste of woman. You’re going to re-clean this house until it sparkles. And if in the morning it’s still filthy, well, you’re going to have a hard time explaining to the town why you look like that.” A slap across the face followed the drunken slur. It was so loud that Ellie-May swore it could be heard miles away. Within minutes the police were at the door. “Is there a problem here, Mr. Finch?” the sheriff asked. “No problem here. People need to mind their own god-damn business,” Pa answered. “Let me rephrase that. Is there a problem, Mrs. Finch?” “It was my fault, sheriff. I didn’t get his creamed potatoes warm enough,” Ma said. The sheriff folded pa’s arms behind his back and whipped out his handcuffs like always. “Let’s go, Al.” ...

Having a hobby means getting rejected over and over again. You think your work is phenomenal. Others don't think so. They don't give you feedback, which means you don't know where you can grow. You don't know what's wrong with it. You don't know how to change. It's so messed up. You just have to keep pushing forward and make the best of what you love. Right now, I have major writers block with my stories and my novel. I'm not sure where to go or what to do. With that being said, I'm going to upload a few stories I have submitted and I would really appreciate some feedback, whether it's on my blog or a Facebook message. Anything is helpful.

I have continued to study Proverbs. This whole book will tell you how you need to live your life. Chapter 4 is titled "Wisdom is Supreme." It reminds you to not take His lessons for granted and to not be naive. You should be proud to have wisdom and understanding, and to be glad to have understanding and praise it. He will lead you all the way to righteousness. God will never send you down a path He knows you can't handle. He will always guide you. Do not go towards evil, stay away form it. Evil people struggle and they don't know why. His words will not fail you. God's words will get you through anything. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Do not gossip. Look forward to God, don't stray from His path. Chapter 5 is "Warning Against Adultery". The adulteress is Satan in disguise. STAY AWAY! Love your wife/husband whole heartedly and devote them to God. Your wife should always satisfy you. You should never stray. Adultery is the work of the devi...

I've started a thing. I've started reading Proverbs. It was the book I opened to when I opened my bible. I started at the beginning. The first chapter is about learning from life, taking the discipline you are given, gaining knowledge, and growing wise. I don't mean physically. I mean spiritually. You have to do all of this through God. Don't be a fool, grow from it. Don't follow the beaten path. Learn from your youth. Don't take the Lord for granted. Fear the Lord and know that He is in charge. The second chapter has hit home for me. It has told me that fearing the Lord will allow for me to find the knowledge of God and gain wisdom in life. I have to have faith and know that He will protect me. If you have wisdom from God then you will always be protected. Wisdom will protect you from evil and the devil. Having wisdom will lead you away from adultery as well. Fearing God and having wisdom will bring you to the promise land. Chapter three is where I broke do...

I have spent the month of July letting bygones be bygones and forgiving where it is needed. I have worked on repairing relationships that should have never been broken. I have worked on improving myself. I have had to take the initiative to provide more for my family. We are seven days into August, and I have never been tried by God like I am right now. There are three very stressful situations going on at the same time right now. I feel overwhelmed. I have prayed to God. I have yelled "Please God Please!" I have turned to my bible when I needed reassurance. I am praying harder than ever. I am asking for forgiveness for other's sins. My husband kneeled at the altar at church with me yesterday during communion, and he never does. The devil is tempting me. It is tempting my family. He will not succeed. Get the behind me Satan. "Submit to God, resist the devil, and he will flee." James 4:7 This month I am working harder at loving from afar and praying for the peopl...

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come." 2 Corinthians 5:17 This reminds me that Jesus is my story. God changes your heart and that is when the challenges start. Paul was a changed man. Corinth was an evil place. The church struggled to show and clean and revived heart. God can change anyone's heart. He's up for the challenge. God has called us into challenges, hoping to change the world. Many people are walking away from God. There are challenged to the changes our culture is making. We have forgotten the least, last, and lost. We have a very challenging change. We need a change in faith. A revival in our soul. Most of life is pretty challenging. Everything we do takes effort. Put your effort in God. We take time to do what we want to do. Make time for God and make Him a top priority.

Matthew 16 is a powerful chapter. The Pharisees and Sadducees wanted Jesus to prove to them that He was the Son of God by giving them a sign from Heaven. Jesus told them that only Jonah would be given a sign by Him from Heaven. The disciples forgot to take bread with them on their journey. Jesus didn't know why they didn't believe that He would provide. He reminded them of the food He provided for the five thousand and the four thousand hungry. Jesus also reminded them not to listen to the word of the Pharisees and the Sadducees because it was poison. The disciples know Jesus is the Son of God and He will protect His people from Hades. His followers will have everything in Heaven, but nothing on Earth will go to Heaven with them. Jesus feared the outcome of people knowing He was Christ. He told the followers not to tell anyone. He then predicted His Crucifixion and His resurrection. Peter denied that this would happen to Jesus. Jesus then called Him Satan for saying this would ...