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My Toddler Gave Me PTSD

So as many of you do know, Dawson has had 2 febrile seizures since Maddox has been born (5.5 months). His first was two days after Maddox was born, 3/28/21. That one was scary because we didn't know what was happening, but nothing compares to the one on 5/29/21. Maddox and I had just busted out of ACH after a 9 day stay. Troyce said Dawson had been whiny all day, but he was off his routine. I get home and we load up to go get dinner. As we are parked waiting on Troyce to bring out our food, I just casually look back at Dawson because he had been quiet. His eyes were rolled back in his head and he was unresponsive. I called Troyce and the next thing I know we are gojng 100mph down Military Road. He said, "cars are not moving." I straight up told him to drive down the turning lane. We got from Taco Bell to Saline Memorial in under a minute. Dawson seizued for almosf 45 minutes before he came out of it. The first temperature that they got to read was 104. They pumped him FULL of benzos to bring him out of it. While Dawson was seizing, Troyce passed out from the stress. Dawson and I rode to ACH in their ambulance and he was admitted for observation. His EKG was clear and he now has emergency diazapam in my purse and at daycare. I am constantly worried about his temperature. So much, that he will ask me to take his "temper" because he is so used to it. If he acts any different than his normal 90 to nothing, I freak out. If he is quiet in the backseat, I keep looking back to check on him. I am always asking him how he is. Luckily since his tubes he has been so much better. But I can't help but think the other shoe will drop.

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