Guardian Angel

2017 has been probably one of the worsts years in a while. Yeah, I got married, but there have been so many hard times. It's been more than I could bear. My faith has remained strong. I somewhat have my health under control. It's more under control than it was this time last year. I'm working on building myself up and building my business. I have financial goals for 2018 that I'm ready to meet. I have so many others life goals I want to accomplish. I didn't get the promotions I wanted. I didn't get a lot of things I've wanted. I've worried. I've stressed. Every night I thank God for allowing me to live another day. I can't wait to continue to grow with Him in 2018. Here's to a new year!

Having this blog has made me branch out and not be shy. With that being said, we're going to get pretty personal in just a bit. For starters, I want to clarify something. If I express any negative, positive, sad, etc., emotions on here, it's because I want people to know that it's okay to feel those things and they aren't alone. I want people to know they have someone who can relate to them. Do I struggle with emotions? Of course. It.Does.Not.Mean.I'm.Suicidal. So don't go ask my parents about it. I promise if I was, this would not be the place I would express that. No one would know. Second, I have been doing a lot better since I changed my birth control. I used to have so many pains when I was ovulating and on my period. My doctor tried to tell me it was all about my diet and that I needed to cut out dairy and gluten. I told her I had already done that and nothing changed. I also told her I wasn't allergic to either one because I have had every test done k...

"But the angel said to them, 'Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.' Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel praising God and saying, 'Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests.' When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, 'Let's go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.'" Luke 2:10-15 Today in church we watched a clip from "Charlie Brown Christmas." It was the part where Charlie Brown and Lioness bring the scrawny Christmas tree into the auditorium. They all wanted to know why he had picked such a wimpy tree. He then asked, "Doesn't anyone know the real reason...

I have really been struggling today. I'm not sure what it is. I feel like I'm alone. Like I have no friends. I feel bullied a lot. Used. Abused. Mistreated. And every time I try to talk to someone about it, I end up being the problem. I apparently need to change myself. If I want people to be nice to me then I need to be nice to them. I'm not doing anything wrong. This has happened to me my entire life. I'm always just told to let it roll off of me. Do you know how hard that is to do? People say they always have my back. But do they? I was tortured most of my life. It has made me so depressed. Some days I really hate myself. No one should have to live like that. Today I feel friendless, depressed, and just out right worthless. I am a disappointment to myself. I am so tired of feeling this way. So if anyone knows of any "pick me up"s please let me know.

"With that shall I come before the Lord and bow down before the exalted God? Shall I come before him with burnt offerings, with calves a year old? Will the Lord be pleased with thousands of rams, with ten thousand rivers of oil? Shall I offer my firstborn for my transgression, the fruit of my body for the sin of my soul? He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." Micah 6:6-8 Let's remember that God is the reason for Christmas. Jesus was just, He was fair. We have to live as God lived. Stand before God. Feel the Presence. Know He is your God. Do you want mercy? You have to give mercy to receive mercy. Do as God demands and desires. God will change your life. We forget who is in charge- it is not you or I. God made us to love like He does, be Just like He is, He made us in His image. He brought us here. He saved us. Remember what it's like to be a child of God. Our wor...

"Murder on Potrero Hill" by ML Hamilton was quite the read. Yes, I've been busy reading on night shift. It really made me angry. People who don't know about law enforcement shouldn't write about it. First of all, it isn't always the husband/wife. It could be anyone. So every time they said, "It's always the husband," I got extremely angry and almost had to close the book. It wasn't correct. They literally ruined a man's life because they refused to believe that he wasn't involved. In one day, before they had any evidence, they froze his bank accounts, got him fired, shut down his bus pass, and basically gave him no means of life. What jerks. That doesn't happen. Not without probably cause and legitimate evidence. They may monitor you, but they aren't going to cut you out of society. It was still a decent book though.

Well guys, I have finished the series of the "Free to..." by Julie Mellon. I'm so sad because I want it to keep going. I'm so invested in all of these characters, it's made me want more and more and I've felt a personal connection with the characters. I feel like I'm one of the agents in the FBI with them. I highly recommend you read her books. They're fantastic and an easy read.

"Free to Kill" by Julie Mellon was a ebook I downloaded on my Kindle for free. I'm always weary of free books, because they're free for a reason right? Wrong. This was one of the best mysteries I've read in quite some time. I was a thriller. It kept me on my toes. Now I have to go see if there are other books in this series because I literally can't deal with it anymore. I read this ebook in one night shift. Less than twelve hours. Ya'll have to go download this book.

The month of November has been a roller coaster of emotions. There was an incident that we didn't foresee happening. It took a major toll on our marriage. We have since learned and grown from this experience. We also thought my car was going to last YEARS, but unfortunately, with all of the work that has been put into it and with stuff still going wrong, we couldn't afford to keep dishing out money on a vehicle that was already paid for...so I had to get a new car. I would rather put money into something that isn't going to overheat instead of putting money into a vehicle that keeps leaking coolant somehow and the Ford dealerships can't seem to fix it right. I also have to get better with my profanity. This has been a stressful month, and I needed an outlet. That was the wrong way to go about it, but it sure felt better when I let it out. I need to focus my frustrations in the word of God. I have figured out some issues of my health problems. The main problem is my birt...