Guardian Angel

August has been a whirlwind of emotions, and frankly I'm glad it's over. I just need it to be 2018. New year, new me right? Night shift takes a toll on me and my relationships. I am chronically unavailable on night shift. With that being said, I'm also working a second job, selling makeup on the side. My makeup business didn't do too hot this month. But what can you do? School started. There was a hurricane. Everyone is trying to pay for tuition and school supplies. School clothes. I will just keep pushing and fighting for success. I have to be my biggest motivator. Customers: if you have no intention of purchasing from me in the future, then don't ask me about the product. It is a waste of my time to tell you how great our chemical free makeup is for you to post on Facebook about how you can't wait to try your Younique. It is an embarrassment for both of us, so just don't. I'm not being salty. I am cutting toxins out of my life. This month I have had to...

Have you ever had the best support system there could possibly be, but felt like no one was supporting you and that you were taking on all of the stress by yourself? Do you have friends or significant others who are emotionally unavailable? That's how I've been feeling these past few days. It has felt like my world has been turned upside down. I have been turning to God more. I have been studying and praying more. What I haven't been doing is asking for His help. For Him to support me and guide me. He is the only one who can always root for me and not be partial. He is the only one who can take away all of my stress and worry. Why is it so hard to give it all away to Him? Maybe it's because I like to micromanage everything. I don't know. It's hard, but I'm learning to let Him guide me and support me every step of the way.

The old me would want to get revenge on the people who are trying to destroy my life. The new me is glad that I can give it to God and forgive them. It is really hard, but I am making do. I am trying my hardest to move on from this situation and to move on with my life. These people will not take my peace from me. They will not steal my happiness. They will not win. I will come out on top.

Proverbs 10 begins to Proverbs of Solomon. It tells us to make our Father happy. He will provide for His followers. You need to work for everything you have. Evil brings violence. Do not stray from the path of righteousness. We need to get rid of the hatred and be full of love. It shouldn't take a hurricane for America to come together. Don't ignore your wrongdoing, embrace it and move on. Gossip is a terrible thing, and we should stay away from it. Keeping your mouth shut is the best way to live life. The Lord's love will make you "rich." If you fear your Father, you will live a long life. The Lord brings salvation to people. The followers of the Lord know what needs to be done, and they are working on doing it. Proverbs 11 tells us to get rid of our pride. We need to follow the Lord and be faithful. You will have righteousness after death. You mustn't be unfaithful. Trouble falls on the wicked. Prosper and you won't perish. Don't gossip about your n...

I just want to say how terrible that sarahah app is. It is degrading and humiliating. I told myself I wasn't going to download it after what happened with ask.fm. But I finally gave in to the trend. I had the app for 3 hours. I got only one post, and it was possibly the meanest thing anyone could ever say to me. We are adults. Why don't we act like ones? If you have nothing nice to say about me, then at least say it to my face. Go post it on my Facebook wall. Don't do it anonymously, that just makes you a coward. PARENTS: MONITOR YOUR CHILDREN. If they have this app check to make sure that no one is telling them to go kill themselves, like it has happened in other states. People are mean. We need to stop this epidemic.

I just have to tell you guys. Monday night I came home from my second job around 10pm. I was so tired, emotionally and physically. I got out of my car and when I went to go open the door to my house, I saw a note that said, "Follow the trail of kisses." Upon opening the door, I saw a trail of Hershey kisses going from the kitchen to our bedroom, into our bathroom. There, I found Troyce standing next to the bathtub. He had started me a candlelit bubble bath and there were roses surrounding the bathtub. I immediately get into the bathtub because at this point my feet are killing me. He brings me a glass of wine, and goes and cooks DINNER. At 10pm he cooks dinner. I'm talking baked cajun chicken. Pasta sides. And of course, mac n cheese. He had HUNG UP AND FOLDED all of the laundry and cleaned up the porch from where the kittens had made a mess. I'm sitting there thinking that I'm dreaming. This man realizes how hard I work and decided I needed a break. I am so bless...

You guys! Yesterday I went a whole day without saying a single bad word! Today, I've said minimal. I'm doing so good. I'm proud of myself. I'm trying to decide if I want to quit writing, or keep going. It's hard getting rejection letters. Or emails I should say. I'm working on bettering myself, so if anyone has any ideas, I'll take the constructive criticism.

I can't sleep. My eyes just won't shut. My stomach is cramping up because it's that time of the month. And I'm having hot flashes. So I'm laying here listening to my husband breathe, and thinking about just how blessed I am. This man takes care of me when I'm having a bad day. Listens when I need to talk even if he doesn't say anything. Most importantly, he loves me for who I am. So yeah, it's 1 AM and I'm laying here running my fingers through his hair. I wouldn't trade it for the world.

There is one question that I just will not answer because it is preposterous. How's married life? It's like asking someone if they feel older on their birthday. I don't know, Kathy, how is being retired? What do you say to that? "Oh, it's just fine. He hasn't died yet." Like, don't ask me that. It's vulgar and I just won't answer it. Not to be rude, but sorry.

It is time to accept who God has called me to be. I'm not sure what my end game is. I'm not sure what I'm going to spend my life doing. All I know is that I am here to worship God, and do some writing along the way. He will lead me where I need to go. He has a plan for me. He will show it to me when He is ready, not when I am ready. I am going to take every opportunity that is given to me. I will give it a leap of faith from here on out. I also am trying to cut out profanity in my life. I need to replace it with something else, if anyone has any suggestions.

Coworkers, parents, Troyce, in-laws, myself, friends. I have allowed for all of these people to steal my peace, including myself. It is time to let bygones be bygones and improve/repair relationships. I can't keep living my life like this. One day at a time, I'm trying to wake up smiling.

"D not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit." Ephesians 5:18 Let the light of the Lord fill you, not alcohol. John Wesley founded the Methodist Movement. His heart felt relatively warm one day. Some thought it was heartburn. It was actually Jesus in him. Sometimes we just want to feel better so we look to the world. John speaks of something eternal. The Holy Spirit will help us all of the days of our lives. You need to feel the presence of God. God will calm you through His presence. The only way to solve the problem in our culture is God. Jesus never changes. He will never leave you nor forsake you. We don't worship Him the way we should. Don't ignore Him. Bring that burn to your soul. Make Him important. Place everything at the foot of the cross. Rely on Him. It gives us hope. It reminds us. You are worthy of our praise, Lord. Don't look for rescue in places that can't rescue you. Come, Holy Spirit. Renew our hear...

Proverbs 8 is titled "Wisdom's Call." It tells us that wisdom and understanding come out to you. Wisdom doesn't lie to you. Nothing is greater than wisdom. Don't have a big ego. Great things come from wisdom. Have wisdom and you will succeed. Wisdom has been around since the creation of the earth. Have wisdom and you will be blessed. The Lord will provide if you believe. If you don't have wisdom then you are evil. Proverbs 9 is titled "Invitations of Wisdom and of Folly." Wisdom searches for the lost. Change and you will be alive. Don't judge or make fun. Wisdom brings rewards. Folly is the opposite. Folly condones evil. She represents deceit. This concludes the Prologue of Proverbs.

Saving Brittany She sat in Brittany’s driveway inside her red SUV, dreading to get out. They hadn’t spoken since before Thanksgiving, when she swore she was never going to have anything to do with Brittany again. Brittany ran up to her car while trying not to fall to the ground. “Heyyyyy! You look great. How you been doin’?” As soon as Brittany reached Kristen’s car the door was pried open. Brittany leaned against the open door and pulled Kristen out of the car. Kristen forced a smile as she studied Brittany. Brittany’s eyes were sunken back into her head and it seemed as if she hadn’t showered in weeks. Her thick, brown hair was matted and falling out of a messy bun. Her old makeup was smeared across her bony face. Brittany was wearing bleach-stained sweat pants and a white t-shirt covered in brown dirt stains. Her cracked lips formed into a smile, showing yellow teeth. “Why’a always look s’nice? I love that you dyed your hair back brown. And look how long it’s got. Have you ...

Picture Perfect Memory She couldn’t move. Her body was frozen in place. The heart that once pumped so much blood and loved so deeply was now in a million pieces. She continued staring at her phone, her eyes not blinking. A tear slowly ran down her face. Her chest burned, almost as if it was on fire. All of a sudden, she broke down and began sobbing uncontrollably. After ten minutes she grabbed, with much force, a tissue out of the purple Kleenex box on her desk. She turned the white cloth black from her tears. She rose, clenching her fists so hard that her knuckles turned white. After a moment, she walked over to her cloth picture holders and yanked out the dozens of happy pictures, tearing them in half. She grabbed the framed pictures and piled them on the bed with the fragments of the other pictures. The fire in her chest began to weaken. Almost breaking the knob on her dresser when she opened it, she threw the clothes he gave her onto her bed. She yanked her necklace from her neck, ...

Miracles Exist Their old, wooden house had sat in the middle of an open pasture. Water dripped through the patchwork of rusted out tin, and there was molded wood covering the sides of the structure. Cara remembered the one sole window in the four-by-four kitchen that her mommy could never see to scrub the dust from. The single bathroom could barely fit a person, and the floor was low in some spots where the foundation lacked. The lone bedroom contained two cots that barely held any weight. She could see her daddy sitting in his chair, staring at the letter from the water company. Cara had only been five, but she could read the letter saying, “FINAL NOTICE.” Her daddy would sigh, and throw the letter on the table. They had one kerosene lamp in their shack. The light danced against the darkness inside their home, and Cara remembered seeing her daddy’s concerned face. It was only later in life that Cara learned that the old farmhouse had never been Tommy and Emma Lee’s ideal home, but ...

Behind Closed Doors “Damn it, Margaret. You’ve sure done it again. Everyone in our town knows what a filthy whore you are. You know how I like things. What in your god-damn mind makes you think that this filthy house passes my inspection? You stupid waste of woman. You’re going to re-clean this house until it sparkles. And if in the morning it’s still filthy, well, you’re going to have a hard time explaining to the town why you look like that.” A slap across the face followed the drunken slur. It was so loud that Ellie-May swore it could be heard miles away. Within minutes the police were at the door. “Is there a problem here, Mr. Finch?” the sheriff asked. “No problem here. People need to mind their own god-damn business,” Pa answered. “Let me rephrase that. Is there a problem, Mrs. Finch?” “It was my fault, sheriff. I didn’t get his creamed potatoes warm enough,” Ma said. The sheriff folded pa’s arms behind his back and whipped out his handcuffs like always. “Let’s go, Al.” ...

Having a hobby means getting rejected over and over again. You think your work is phenomenal. Others don't think so. They don't give you feedback, which means you don't know where you can grow. You don't know what's wrong with it. You don't know how to change. It's so messed up. You just have to keep pushing forward and make the best of what you love. Right now, I have major writers block with my stories and my novel. I'm not sure where to go or what to do. With that being said, I'm going to upload a few stories I have submitted and I would really appreciate some feedback, whether it's on my blog or a Facebook message. Anything is helpful.

I have continued to study Proverbs. This whole book will tell you how you need to live your life. Chapter 4 is titled "Wisdom is Supreme." It reminds you to not take His lessons for granted and to not be naive. You should be proud to have wisdom and understanding, and to be glad to have understanding and praise it. He will lead you all the way to righteousness. God will never send you down a path He knows you can't handle. He will always guide you. Do not go towards evil, stay away form it. Evil people struggle and they don't know why. His words will not fail you. God's words will get you through anything. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Do not gossip. Look forward to God, don't stray from His path. Chapter 5 is "Warning Against Adultery". The adulteress is Satan in disguise. STAY AWAY! Love your wife/husband whole heartedly and devote them to God. Your wife should always satisfy you. You should never stray. Adultery is the work of the devi...

I've started a thing. I've started reading Proverbs. It was the book I opened to when I opened my bible. I started at the beginning. The first chapter is about learning from life, taking the discipline you are given, gaining knowledge, and growing wise. I don't mean physically. I mean spiritually. You have to do all of this through God. Don't be a fool, grow from it. Don't follow the beaten path. Learn from your youth. Don't take the Lord for granted. Fear the Lord and know that He is in charge. The second chapter has hit home for me. It has told me that fearing the Lord will allow for me to find the knowledge of God and gain wisdom in life. I have to have faith and know that He will protect me. If you have wisdom from God then you will always be protected. Wisdom will protect you from evil and the devil. Having wisdom will lead you away from adultery as well. Fearing God and having wisdom will bring you to the promise land. Chapter three is where I broke do...

I have spent the month of July letting bygones be bygones and forgiving where it is needed. I have worked on repairing relationships that should have never been broken. I have worked on improving myself. I have had to take the initiative to provide more for my family. We are seven days into August, and I have never been tried by God like I am right now. There are three very stressful situations going on at the same time right now. I feel overwhelmed. I have prayed to God. I have yelled "Please God Please!" I have turned to my bible when I needed reassurance. I am praying harder than ever. I am asking for forgiveness for other's sins. My husband kneeled at the altar at church with me yesterday during communion, and he never does. The devil is tempting me. It is tempting my family. He will not succeed. Get the behind me Satan. "Submit to God, resist the devil, and he will flee." James 4:7 This month I am working harder at loving from afar and praying for the peopl...

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come." 2 Corinthians 5:17 This reminds me that Jesus is my story. God changes your heart and that is when the challenges start. Paul was a changed man. Corinth was an evil place. The church struggled to show and clean and revived heart. God can change anyone's heart. He's up for the challenge. God has called us into challenges, hoping to change the world. Many people are walking away from God. There are challenged to the changes our culture is making. We have forgotten the least, last, and lost. We have a very challenging change. We need a change in faith. A revival in our soul. Most of life is pretty challenging. Everything we do takes effort. Put your effort in God. We take time to do what we want to do. Make time for God and make Him a top priority.